March 2 – Key Lime Pie

Dessertification

Truth be told, I’m not much of a pie fan (dirty jokes aside). It’s not that I don’t like pie, but I’m more of a cookie and brownie man. I thought it might be best to list some of my favourite dessert treats, in case anyone out there is looking to butter me up like the living legend that I am.

Two-Bite Brownies

While they’re advertised as two-bite treats, it’s much more enjoyable to shove the entire brownie in your mouth and chomp on it noisily. If you’re looking for a fun evening in the future, try having a brownie bash. Each player brings a bag of two-bite brownies, which are emptied out into the centre of the playing surface. Then each competitor builds up a fortress for safe keeping of their treasures and you play Hungry Hungry Hippo’s style, running and retrieving one treat at a time until all the brownies have been claimed.

Sponge Bob Two Bite Brownie

Rainbow Chips Ahoy

Nothing beats ending a long hard day with a plate of cookies and a cold glass of milk… unless it’s a fat beefy burger and an ice cold cocktail. Hell, if your guy-et is going well, why not do both! Rainbow chips Ahoy (which are clearly superior to regular chocolate chips ahoy) are one of my favourite camping supplies and you truly haven’t experienced all the joys of life until you’ve made smores between of these two cookies. As a bonus, the rainbow chips take you back to fond childhood memories quicker than the sight of an ice cream truck.

Black Forest Cake

Mrs. Sip really stole a piece of my heart when we celebrated our first dating anniversary and she bought me an entire Black Forest Cake even though she isn’t besties with any cake other than Ice Cream Cake. Yes, that black forest beauty and I spent a bulk of the next week together, sharing tender glances, romantic embraces and nights of unbridled passion.

Chocolate Fondue

The fun part about fondue (maybe they should just call it FUNdue… great, now the lame police are after me… why do I always write the worst jokes?) is coming up with interesting things to dip in the chocolate. While pedestrian items like fruit, marshmallows and sponge cake are used by the masses, I am an extreme fondue-er, dunking sub sandwiches, turkey legs, and edible underwear into the melted goodness.

Chocolate Fondue

Minnie’s Bake Shop Cookies at Disney Parks

These cookies are amazing! Every time Mrs. Sip and I are in Disneyland or Disneyworld, a good portion of our snack budget (well, budget is a loose term, given it’s an infinite amount) is spent of these treats. We’ve come home with an entire suitcase filled with the delicacies before… and it’s not like we make them last for as long as possible. They are often demolished in a single serving, as we go into a trance-like orgy of cookie destruction. The next morning, we awake to smears of chocolate and peanut on our clothing (luckily we’re still in clothing); crumbs, like fallen snow, littering the floor; and splashes of milk dripping from the ceiling.

Black Magic Cupcakes

This is Mama Sip’s world famous recipe, which has caused her to be hounded over the years by family, friends, co-workers, even da freakin’ pope, to make them. Basically, they are a chocolate cupcake with chocolate chip cheesecake mixed in and are absolutely fabulous warmed up or even cold. Made from a secret family recipe that has been handed down for thousands of years, I may have said too much already. If you would like the recipe, please send $500 to Sip Advisor Enterprises and I’ll get back to you in due time.

Drink #61: Key Lime Pie

Key Lime Pie Shot

  • Rim glass with Graham Cracker Crumbs
  • 0.5 oz Galliano
  • 0.5 oz Fireball Whiskey
  • Splash of Lime Juice
  • Dash of Milk
  • Top with Whipped Cream

There are at least three variations of this shot and I kind of put pieces together from all three to make my version. Enjoy!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Full disclosure: I left out an ingredient when making this shooter. Originally, I forgot to include Galliano, so I had to make it again. It worked out pretty well when done properly. The Graham Cracker Crumb rim was a key part of the recipe.

January 30 – Firestone

Yuck… I’m Not Drinking That

There are those out there who think that Fireball Whiskey (a cinnamon-flavoured liquor) is gross. To those people I scream, “What, are you crazy?” Fireball is delicious and my go-to flask filler. For those that aren’t down with the Fireball or, more accurately, aren’t balling with the fire, I suggest you reserve your criticisms for these libations:

Alaska Distillery Smoked Salmon Vodka

Salmon belongs on a plate – wonderfully cooked by Mrs. Sip Advisor – with a couple sides, not in a bottle. The makers of this vodka suggest using it in Caesar recipes and perhaps they are onto something. Unfortunately, I think most people would find it hard to get their head wrapped around the concept of drinking a fish-flavoured drink, regardless of how good it could possibly taste. Suggested recipe: Bloody Mary

Smoked Salmon Vodka

Oddka Wasabi Vodka

I don’t even like wasabi on my sushi, let alone in my vodka. This spirit seems like something you would have on a dare. Maybe I’ll gather the Sip Advisor executive board for a game of spin the bottle and we’ll see if Wasabi Vodka makes an appearance on the path to enlightenment. One thing is for sure, this liquor might make a good chaser with some sashimi… providing you’re a fan of the green stuff to begin with. Suggested recipe: Japanese Garden

Oddka Wasabi

Oddka Electricity Vodka

Looking for an easy buzz? How about some electricity-flavoured vodka? Seriosuly, though, how do you bottle the taste of electricity? Did you lick a battery and then try to match the subtle notes of death? Perhaps ol’ Ben Franklin discovered this recipe when he conducted his famous kite during a lightning storm experiment all those years ago. He is known to have invented like a bazillion things. Suggested recipe: Electricity Shot

Oddka Electricity

Three Olives Purple Vodka

Is purple even a flavour? Growing up, purple (better known as grape) was one of my least favourite candy tastes. I found it to be too hit and miss to invest my piggy bank money in and pushed more of my assets towards stocks and bonds in watermelon and strawberry essences. Although, I will admit that the attractive woman enjoying a purple popsicle in the ad for this bottle makes me want to give it a chance. Fingers crossed it doesn’t taste like children’s cough syrup. Suggested recipe: Purple Rain

Three Olives Purple

360 Buttered Popcorn Vodka

I don’t like popcorn (the real thing) because I hate getting kernels stuck in my teeth. While the flavour of this vodka intrigues me, I’m currently at a complete loss as to what this liquor could possibly be paired with to make any drinkable cocktail. In the end, I think I’d rather buy rip-off movie theatre popcorn, choke on a couple kernels and call it a day, than sample some popcorn vodka blends. Suggested recipe (by 360): Caramel Corn Collins (actually want to try this!)

360 Buttered Popcorn Vodka

Three Olives Tomato Vodka

With “Bakon” and Tomato vodkas already existing, we are so close to making BLT or Clubhouse cocktails. I hope scientists out there are trying to come up with lettuce and chicken spirits (a much better use of their time than curing cancer or fixing global warming or anything like that). Like the Smoked Salmon Vodka, this spirit is probably best suited for the Caesar/Bloody Mary family of drinks, but I’m not sure it has any prospects outside of this realm. Suggested recipe: Bloodhound Variation

Three Olives Tomato

Drink #30: Firestone

Firestone Drink

  • 1.5 oz Fireball Whiskey
  • Top with half sour mix half orange juice
  • Garnish with trio of wheels (lemon, lime, orange)

If any company out there wants to send me a sample of their spirits and prove me wrong, I would welcome them with open arms and if my mind is changed, I would happily retract any criticism I have made and advise my little sippers to give these alcohols a chance.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
What I liked best about this cocktail was the faint burn that comes through on the aftertaste, thanks to the Fireball. Using the trio of fruit wheels ended up looking pretty good, so I’m happy I went down that route.