Word Play

At dinner with friends recently, someone mentioned a story where a guy said he was ‘smitten’ with her. It got me thinking about how awesome the word smitten is and it saddens me that it has largely disappeared from the lexicon. Here are some other gems of the English language that should return to the vernacular world:

Balderdash!!! – It is my goal in life (what can I say: aim low, perform high) to shout this out at inappropriate times and cause a disturbance. I think ending a board game like Monopoly or checkers, by flipping the board into the air and shouting Balderdash!!! at my opponent(s) would be a great way to prove that my mental faculties are still sharp and that I’m fully competent to stand trial. Used in a sentence: Balderdash!!!! I should not have to pass go to collect $200.

Jazzed – In line with today’s drink, jazzed has disappeared from our vocabulary and been replaced by stoked (a word I’ve never been very comfortable with). Like jazzercise, jazz dance, and jazz-onomics (the term to describe the money, or generally more the lack thereof, associated with jazz musicians), there just seems to be no appreciation for the jasm (original derivation of jazz… which just sounds dirty… which is probably why I like it!) arts. Used in a sentence: I’m no longer stoked about this weekend’s sock hop, but once I get there I’m sure I’ll be jazzed.

Flummoxed – I go through most of my life with a look of perplexity splashed across my face. The things I see most people do makes me question the existence of life. In my five-minute walk (I’m a very lucky guy) to and from work, I note numerous acts of stupidity from walkers, drivers, homeless zombies, and even dogs. Used in a sentence: All these idiots have absolutely flummoxed me to the point of exhaustion.

My boy, Ron Swanson, shows us his best flummoxed face!

Strumpet, Harlot, Trollop, Guttersnipe – Basically anyway to describe a promiscuous lady (or even man, as I believe in equal opportunity), without having to resort to cruder words. Nowadays, people go for the easy fix and through around harsh terms that don’t need repeating. Let’s go back to a time of underhandedly saying someone is a slut or a whore. Woops, went ahead and wrote them bad words anyway. Used in a sentence: I always dreamed of finding a strumpet (could be replaced by harlot, trollop or guttersnipe) of my own.

Blotto – I use this term often, to describe someone’s level of inebriation, but I am one of the few – and by far the greatest – that does. I like that blotto contains the word lotto, because to me, when you get this drunk, you’re gambling with the contents of your stomach and sometimes more. Let’s start a new phrase: you can’t get blotto without playing the lotto. Used in a sentence: Man, I’m going to get so freakin’ blotto tonight it will be blotto-tacular.

Chortle – This is such a perfect word in describing that sarcastic scoff people can sometimes be guilty of doing. It was invented by Lewis Carroll (writer of the Alice in Wonderland stories) and it figures this mad genius would create a term like this. I often practice my chortle just for fun and in the case that it is ever needed on demand. In today’s world, this preparation comes in hand more often than even I would like. Used in a sentence: I chortle at you, good sir.

Loathe – When my wife and I are joking around, we’ll sometimes say “I loathe you, darling.” Well, she says it more often than I do… and with good reason. The first time she ever said it, with a little smile and a peck on the check, I barely noticed it. I’m slow like that, but I eventually caught on. Little did I know that our entire relationship had been built around her loathing me and me loving her. Loathe has such a strong vibe to it and I think it’s sorely missing from today’s jargon. We should all find someone to loathe and tell them so, making 2013 the year of loathing. Used in a sentence: I never thought I’d loathe someone like you.

Brouhaha – Sometimes used in sports references when a fight breaks out, but rarely used otherwise. I think all fights should be called brouhahas, from mixed martial arts to hockey to domestic disturbances portrayed on Cops and other reality shows. Can you imagine a cop showing up to a street fight and asking what all the brouhaha is about? Way to lose your street cred, Officer. Used in a sentence: Let’s go down to the bar, act like a couple dicks (er, I mean frat guys) and start a massive brouhaha.

Drink #31: Disaronno Jazz

• 1 oz Disaronno (amaretto)
• 0.5 oz Vodka
• 0.5 oz Blue Curacao
• Top with Sweet & Sour Mix
• Garnish with lime wedge

Are there any words you would like to see pulled from its sealed dictionary vault and brought back into the light of day? Now let’s have some fun using every word mentioned in today’s post in one sentence. I am loathe to be smitten with a trollop, who chortles at my advances and routinely gets blotto before a brouhaha, which flummoxes me into shouting words like balderdash and leaves me quantifiably less jazzed than I was to begin with. Your welcome!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Amaretto is such a delicious liqueur and it really shines in this cocktail. It’s funny how green the drink turned out given that Sour Mix is more of a yellowish shade and none of the other ingredients would suggest the final product would look like that.