February 18 – Candy Rider

Posted on February 18, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Ride Wit Me

In a recent post, I mentioned rock band Van Halen’s odd tour rider request to have all the brown M&M’s removed from candy dishes backstage at their appearances. Today I look at some other celebrity demands; some humourous, some reasonable and some downright bizarre.

Taylor Swift – Kraft Mac N’ Cheese, chocolate milk, ice cream, Twizzlers

I know Taylor is young – only 23 – but her rider makes it seem like she should still be eating at the kiddy table. Granted it looks like an ideal meal for Mrs. Sip as well. If this is a consistent part of Swift’s diet however, I wouldn’t be surprised if she often hits the stage with an upset tummy.

Eminem – peanut butter, strawberry jelly, Lunchables… oh, and a koi pond

Again, Slim Shady’s rider reminds me of something a young child going on a field trip would ask for. PB&Js and Lunchables sounds like a nice simple meal if you’re a picky kid. However, not really what I envisioned for someone rapping about drugs and sex, but then again I do love me a good PB&J. Both are favourites of Mrs. Sip (the PB&J and Lunchables that is, not the drugs and sex unfortunately)… she’s starting to look like a bit of a diva. The koi pond is completely out of left field, but given his other easy-to-achieve asks, we’ll give him a pass on the pond.

Adele – Marlboro lights, fans who get free tickets must make a donation to charity

Ever wonder how Adele gets that smoky voice of hers. The Marlboro lights she requests on her rider may play a role. I’m not sure how she keeps tabs on who gets free tickets to her concerts though… perhaps she has ESP (enhanced suspicions of people).

Kanye West – shampoo, lip balm, soft-bristle toothbrush

Wouldn’t want to hurt those voice-of-a-generation gums, hey Kanye? These are all items any normal person would travel with and supply themselves with, but hey, why not make someone else buy them for you and save $10 from your millions?

John Kerry – no tomato-based products or sandwiches

This is a very ironic request given his wife’s fortune – which likely helped fund Kerry’s bid for the American presidency – comes from her first marriage to the heir of the Heinz ketchup legacy. Perhaps that fact still bothers him. After all, what guy likes being constantly reminded of the other people who have seen his wife’s naughty bits?

Foo Fighters – colouring and activity books

Sounds like Dave Grohl and the guys have found a sure-fire way to kick-start their creativity prior to a performance. I can totally see Grohl lying on the floor and doing his best to keep within the lines. Then again, he is a drummer and maybe the exercise is all about breaking the rules. The group also provides this great drawing as an example of acceptable catering.

Michael Buble – local hockey team puck, bottle of scotch, wine, veggies and dip

A good Canadian kid, all Buble wants is a bottle of scotch, some reasonably-priced wine, veggies and dip, and a hockey puck from the local team. It’s a well-known fact that Buble is a massive hockey fan and perhaps he’s just trying to build a one-of-a-kind collection. Fans of Bubbles have even posted in forums, trying to send him pucks from their area teams.

Mariah Carey – 20 white kittens, 100 doves

I only hope the 20 kittens are allowed to feast on the 100 doves and that is the only reason the two are ordered in unison (reminder: The Sip Advisor does not like birds in any form… except tuxedoed and flightless). Man, what a glorious massacre that would be. I know The Sip Advisor’s little sidekick, Furious B, would have an absolute feast if allowed to join this party.

Marilyn Manson – bald-headed, toothless hooker

We hope that this is a joke request, but with Mr. Manson (who sometimes prefers to go by Mrs.), you can never be too sure. Maybe he’s just using the woman as an example of how to do his own make-up!

Drink #49: Candy Rider

Rim glass with Cherry Fun Dip
2 oz Gin (I used Beefeater)
Top with Cherry Dr. Pepper
Garnish with Twizzler Straw

My demands for today’s drink included a cherry Fun Dip rim and a Twizzler straw. If you were a touring celebrity, what would be on your rider? Write me your own requests and I’ll decide whether or not you’re worth booking. The best replies may be posted in a future Sip Advisor blog!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I would have never thought that Gin and Dr. Pepper went together very well… boy, was I wrong. I’m particularly proud of the Twizzler stir stick/straw I added to go along with the post above.

February 17 – Voodoo

Posted on February 17, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Randomness

Today is Random Acts of Kindness Day, one of the most underappreciated days of the year. I’ve already won a lifetime achievement award from the Centre of Kindness, although my distinction was not in the area of Random Acts. Here, though, are some of my noteworthy achievements in the field of randomocity:

I once held a door open for people coming in and out of a building for a world record (yet not Canadian record) time.

I educate kids about the magic of the 1980’s – and I’m not just talking about the excess – from a Transformers franchise that Michael Bay had yet to ruin to professional wrestling still being sold as a legitimate competition. I even do a special lecture detailing the wonders of Sir Teddy Ruxpin.

I’ve frequently eaten at McDonalds restaurants over the years. Someone has to keep these struggling enterprises afloat.

Selflessly, I’ve given cats a lap to nap on for many, many years. To their benefit, I’m just about as lazy as they are.

I’ve donated thousands of Mrs. Sip’s books to local bookmobiles (and all without bothering her about it or telling her). It’s not like I had any intention of reading them and I’m tired of her keeping me up at night when she’s really into a series. Plus, clearing them out leaves more shelf space for liquor. Problem is, those books are promptly returned to me when youngsters realize they can’t get these paperbacks transferred onto their E-readers, cell phones or portable gaming devices.

I’ve watched countless hours of pornography as crucial research to help women feel good about their bodies.

Finally, here’s my most recent (and last ever) act of kindness: I made this drink for all of you to enjoy… seriously, if you hold a straw up to whatever device you’re viewing this on, you can have a taste. It’s the greatest advancement since the scratch-and-sniff.

Drink #48: Voodoo

1 oz Malibu Rum
1 oz Kahlua
1 oz Butterscotch schnapps
Top with Milk
Garnish with Coconut Shavings or Chocolate

Since it’s Random Act of Kindness Day, I got this recipe from webtender.com, through their random drink generator. There are other sites out there that include the random recipe feature, including one that gets bonus points for having cats as mixologist mascots. Give them a shot sometime and let me know what they came up with for you!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
One word can quickly sum up this drink: delicious! The Butterscotch Schnapps, Kahlua, and Malibu Rum offer three very different flavours that all just seem to meld together well. Any drink with Coconut Shavings is going to get high marks from me!

February 16 – Tootsie Roll

Posted on February 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

More Missed Connections

A month and a half into the life of this blog, my Missed Connections post seems to be one of the most popular. Therefore, we’re going back to the pages of Craigslist to dig up some more gold. Valentine’s Day seems like the perfect time for people to be searching for that special someone and hopefully (for our reading pleasure) they’re looking for it in all the wrong places!

Missed Connections: In Search of the Black Forest

Sexy german Frauline with the sexy sexy….

bagels and sweet smile yesterday. I’d like to put me liderHOSEn Into your black forest.

Advisor’s Take: I like this guy’s style, coming straight out with his intentions (masked behind some wonderfully cliched euphemisms). I’ll even forgive him for the atrocious spelling. Still not sure exactly what a ‘sexy sexy’ is, but I’m sure someone will get me up to speed with today’s lingo.

Missed Connections: Taco Time

Talked about tacos. You said that you wanted to start a taco blog. Saw that you had a pretty nice pooper underneath those skinny jeans. Hit me up if you want to munch.

Advisor’s Take: Ah, street meat romance! Is there anything better in the world? Very nice double entendre with the “want to munch” line. I LOVE it when guys refer to my ass as a pooper (sexy, no?). Plus the guy clearly has goals. His conversation about starting a taco blog is hauntingly similar to the discussion I had with Mrs. Sip before starting this wonderfully amazing site.

Missed Connections: Finger Lickin’ Good

You Licked My Fingers

I spotted you on a crowded light rail train heading to Folsom. You had friendly eyes and a purple bandanna around your neck. When a seat cleared, I sat next to you. I tried to avoid looking at you, knowing I would blush and smile too much. I grasped my iPad firmly, determined to stay cool, when you reached out and began licking my fingers. It was disgusting and adorable. I began making kissy noises and fawning over you; scratching your ears, patting your head. You got off before I could ask for your name.

Me: excitable, clean-cut, blue jacket. Typically a cat person, but will make an exception.

You: small and compact, with black and white fur and ears that stuck out.

Advisor’s Take: Love this one. Nice touch with the “typically a cat person” line. There’s just something about animals wearing bandanas that drives me crazy, too. When I first read this, all I could think about was how much I hate transit and the weird people who use it. This has rejuvenated my view of hanging out with strangers.

Missed Connections: Tat’s All Folks

Tattoo Convention Fun – Need Female companion

Going to a great kick off party Thursday (2-7-2013) for the tattoo convention.

I cover entry, drinks, hotel etc.

You be hot female age 21 – 40 who loves to party.

If all works out, we can hit convention Friday and repeat that night.

Reply with stats, pics (nude not necessary, but I won’t say no) and number.

Advisor’s Take: NO! WRONG! Nude photos are always necessary! Jeez, what a first time John we have here. 21-40? At least he’s not picky about choosing his woman (he’ll take daughter or mother). But do they have to have tattoos? Those types of questions will keep me up all night!

Before someone gets on their high horse about how dirty guys can be, I will have the Sip Nation know that one of the more creatively dirty connections I came across was by a woman from Atlanta. I won’t reproduce it all here, but I’ll let you know that it has all the goodies: lumberjacks, T&A, a hotel room (downtown even!), cute whiskers, and a bucket of chicken! Oh, not to mention my favourite, “dranks”. You can read it here: Missed Connections: Tickled Taint

Drink #47: Tootsie Roll

1 oz Gianduia Chocolate Liqueur (a gift from Mrs. Sip to moi)
0.5 oz Orange Juice
Garnish with Tootsie Roll

So, how many shots does it take to get to the center of a liquor-induced nap? One, two, three, CRUNCH… okay, just bit into the shot glass. No time for a nap now, it’s off to the hospital for me!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I really enjoyed this shot and having the Tootsie Roll stir stick to snack on afterwards was a wonderful touch, if I don’t say so myself.

February 15 – Banana Split Martini

Posted on February 15, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sip Harmony

Valentine’s Day 2013 has come and gone, which means you have 365 days to find a partner (or new partner, if you weren’t happy with your V-Day gift) for the 2014 edition. If you follow The Sip Advisor’s date night advice (yeah, I’m good at that, too) you’ll do just fine… only fine, not great (our legal counsel insisted I throw that line in to cover our asses).

Dinner Out

I like to take Mrs. Sip to the finest McDonalds, which in our neck of the woods, means homeless people outside, bathrooms you have to be buzzed into, watered down pop stations and receiving you order wrong two-out-of-every-three times. Remember to always keep your options open. If your date is being fussy and wants to try something new on this special occasion, make sure there’s a Burger King nearby as a back-up.

Movie Time

The first obstacle with this option is agreeing on a movie. Unfortunately, as they don’t show pornography in megaplex cinemas, my second choice is usually a comedy. Problem is your date will likely want to see one of the romantic variety and now you’re really suffering. She better be worth it, friend. Sneaking in your own snacks is a must, or else you’ll be stuck putting a mortgage on your home to get a freakin’ drink (in a size that will burst your bladder and make you miss the climax of the film) and bag of popcorn.

Drinks on the Town

I’ve never been one to advocate drinking on a date…said the Sip Advisor never. I’ve had dates with drinks! The Cosmo and I once had a beautiful night out together, enjoying each other’s elixir. When it came time to seal the deal, though, I found out Cosmo saw me as more of a friend. We’re still close, but I’ll never forget how close I came to spending a night with sweet lady Cosmo.

Do Something Crazy!

As fun as bowling, mini-golf and ice skating (for us Canadians) can be, there’s nothing like giving your heart to each other while it’s jumping out of your chest. Great advancements have been made in tandem daredevil activities and even if you only go on one date together, he or she will never forget you or their near-death experience (I personally recommend Zorbing… what says love more than be stuck in a giant plastic ball and being pushed down a hill with that special someone?). Then again, the way I bowl, that may be as near-death as most people are willing to go.

Staying In

Lock the door, throw away the key and stay home. Better clear it with your date first, or else she’ll think you’ve taken her prisoner… although some ladies and gents might like that. Whether it’s to relax and watch Hockey Night in Canada (or, fine, a movie) together; have a romantic, candlelit dinner; or push the twin beds together for a night of wild passion; sometimes staying in is the best course of action.

The most important thing to plan for when staying home, is every night in together should start with a couple of these!

Drink #46: Banana Split Martini

1.5 oz Chocolate Whipped Vodka
1 oz Crème de Bananes (I used Bols)
1 oz Crème de Cacao
Top with Whip Cream
Garnish with chocolate sprinkles, banana slice and raspberry

If any of these tricks of the trade work for you, you can pay homage to me by giving your future child the middle name “Sip Advisor”… kind of has a nice ring to it, don’t ya think!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This might have been my favourite of the Chocolate Week cocktails. It tasted very similar to the dessert of the same name and was just as fun to drink as it is to eat.

February 14 – Raspberry Chocolate Love

Posted on February 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Love Songs

It’s Valentine’s Day and you know what that means… there’s a 50% chance you’re going to get lucky… best odds of the year! Maybe you’ll want to have some tunes playing to set the mood. Here are my suggestions:

Pony – Ginuwine

This song is all about horseback riding. Wait, that’s not right… it’s all about humping. Seriously, every piece of furniture in your house should be rubbed up on prior to sex, during sex and after sex. Your possessions will thank you later. I also like how the artist was able to squeeze both ‘gin’ and ‘wine’ into his name.

I Hate Everything About You – Three Days Grace

This is Mr. and Mrs. Sip Advisor’s karaoke duet of choice. We’ve even been stopped by other patrons before, commending us for our performance. It’s because these lyrics really speak to us… from the heart, man.

F*ck You Tonight – Notorious B.I.G. (feat. R. Kelly)

Hmmm, featuring R. Kelly… didn’t know watersports was on Biggie’s menu. I bet if I played this to Mrs. Sip, things would not go very well for everybody’s favourite liquor blogger. Besides, she often treats me to dinner and drinks. Maybe she should play this for me… not that I ever take any convincing!

Jizz in My Pants – The Lonely Island

I think the meaning of this song is lost on most women. The guys are just saying they find the women so attractive that they can’t control themselves. How’s that for complimentary and moving feminism forward in leaps and bounds? Well played, boys… well played!

All My Love – Led Zeppelin

If my opinion counts for anything (and trust me, it does not) every musical list is lacking unless it contains some Zeppelin content. How many times do you think a groupie was told this song was specifically for them? Ha, classic!

Drink #45: Raspberry Chocolate Love

Put a layer of Chocolate Syrup at the bottom of your glass
1.5 oz Chocolate Whipped Vodka (I used Pinnacle)
1 oz Chambord
Dash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with a chocolate-filled raspberry

Alright, folks, it’s time to make whoopee (not Goldberg)! Have fun, stay safe, and remember who helped you get your groove on!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
It might be hard to tell in photos, but that’s a Chocolate-filled Raspberry garnishing the drink, which I thought to be a really neat idea. There’s also a layer of the syrup at the bottom of the glass. The Chambord, Lemon Juice and Chocolate Vodka are interesting flavours to be combining.

February 13 – Chocolate Martini

Posted on February 13, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

VD Cards

No, we’re not talking about handing out cards to let past snuggle buddies know you have venereal disease, this is about showing my love for readers of this blog… the only issue is, like so many couples who find their “match” on Plenty of Fish, have had a few ambiguous dates, and have now progressed to the hourly texting of desperate messages such as “thinking of you” or “booty call? (winky face)”, I’m not sure what our relationship status is. On Facebook, I have it listed as “It’s Complicated,” so I bought a whole bunch of cards and please take whichever you feel applies to our situation.

Are we ‘in like’?:

Do we have similar tastes?:

Are we on-again, off-again?:

Are we friends with benefits?:

Are we passionate lovers?:

Maybe we’re just schoolyard pals?:

Then I said screw it to the card and I made you this drink… much love!

Drink #44: Chocolate Martini

Decorate glass with chocolate syrup spiral
1.5 oz Whipped Chocolate Vodka
1.5 oz Crème de Cacao
Top with whip cream
Garnish with raspberry and Skor bits

Staff at the Sip Advisor offices should expect to see some of these in their mail slots tomorrow, but only for those that get me a chocolate treat… of the booze variety, of course!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This was my first attempt at doing a Chocolate-Syrup swirl within a martini glass and I think it worked out alright. Everything with the cocktail came together and the Whipped Chocolate Vodka proved itself, once again.

February 12 – Skor Bar

Posted on February 12, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

He Shoots, He Skors

There are a number of drinks named after popular chocolate bars. Today we enjoy the Skor Bar cocktail and we learn what some of The Sip Advisor’s favourite chocolate treats are:

Chocolate PayDay

The Chocolate PayDay bar has become a unicorn of sorts for myself and Mrs. Sip. We found it once, in a hotel vending machine. It was the last bar of its type in the machine and we’ve never seen it again. It took the classicly awesome PayDay bar – salted peanuts held together by chewy caramel – and covered it with chocolate. Had I not seen the bar with a witness, I’d begin to wonder if my years of drinking were taking a toll on the ol’ noggin.

Wunderbar

The Wunderbar is a favourite shareable for me and the little lady. Hell, she thinks every chocolate bar is a shareable… and don’t even get me started on our long standing McDonalds’ fries dispute (if I knew you were going to eat half of my fries, I would have ordered the larger size!!!). But I digress. I like to accuse her of eating more than her fair share of the chocolate bar and then she leaves me more the next time. It’s the ol’ bait and switch, executed to perfection!

Twix

Twix is another perfect “sharing” bar that brings out the Cookie Monster in me. I hate when chocolate bars are hard to share, like what do you do with the third peanut butter cup (note: in the United States, packages come with two cups, but in Canada, there’s three… yup, we’re better! …never mind the fact that you can probably buy two U.S. 2-packs for the price of one Canadian 3-pack). Obviously, you can break the third cup in half, but then your fingers get all chocolatey and delicious and such. Perfect for wiping on your loved one’s finest clothing.

Snickers

I like the new line of Snickers “you’re not you when you’re hungry” commercials, as it’s always nice to see Joe Pesci in front of the camera again. Mrs. Sip isn’t a fan of Snickers bars, so I get this one all to myself! She doesn’t like Oh Henry!, either, so I bet you can guess which treats are well-stocked at the Sip Advisor offices… that’s right, not these ones. These are the delicacies I hide around the house – toilet tank, recycle bin, among the DVD collection – for when I’m not acting myself.

Toblerone

They were 3-D first and we have to thank them for that. While travelling through Switzerland a handful of years ago, it seemed we were buying Toblerone bars like they were going out of style. When we took the trip up Jungfrau Mountain, we made sure to have this wonderful chocolate on hand, as eating some can actually help you adjust to the altitude. Either that or you need to down some serious wobbly-pops.

Drink #43: Skor Bar Cocktail

Rim glass with Skor bits
1 oz Irish Crème (I used Bailey’s)
1 oz Kahlua (or Frangelico for a twist)
1 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
1 oz Crème de Cacao

Everybody has their favourite chocolate bar… what’s yours? I know it’s a hard choice to narrow down. Maybe it’s easier to pick one you hate. It is Fat Tuesday today, so make sure to enjoy as many bars (chocolate or otherwise), guilt-free, as possible!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This actually tasted like a Skor Bar. I know that’s how it’s advertised, but sometimes the results don’t match the name. Butterscotch Schnapps and Crème de Cacao make an amazing pair and the Skor Bit rim was a lot of fun, too.

February 11 – Berried Treasure

Posted on February 11, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Odd Couples

In today’s recipe, Crème de Cacao is combined with lemonade, which may seem like a strange pairing to some. It actually comes together deliciously like peanut butter and chocolate, wine and cheese, and Doritos and porn. The same can’t be said for these mismatched duos:

Flavor Flav & Brigitte Nielsen

What do you get when you throw two recovering addicts together, with the tease of their own reality show spinoff? True love, yo!!! And so we were treated to Strange Love, which chronicled the couple’s relationship, ending when Nielsen decided to return to her fiancé… wait, what!?! She was engaged during the entire charade.

Roger Ebert & Oprah Winfrey

Granted they only went on a couple of dates, before either one had become a household name, but their relationship just seems weird. Ebert did urge Oprah to take her local talk show into syndication, helping her become the high-power, influential brand she’s become since her early days with the movie critic. So now you know you have Ebert to thank for Oprah’s Book Club, among other things that at one time or another, have likely ruined every dude’s life.

Lance Armstrong & Ashley Olsen

One of them used performance enhancing drugs and the other likely should in order to beef up her gaunt, skeleton look. Fifteen-year age gap be damned. At least she’s not dating one of her former parental figures on Full House. Now that would be creepy.

Tom Green & Drew Barrymore

First, you have sweet, innocent Drew Barrymore (Playboy pictorial and history of addictions notwithstanding), member of the Barrymore Hollywood dynasty. Then, you have Canadian Tom Green, who somehow became a cult hit in the late 90’s/early 2000’s with his brand of off-the-wall prank humour. Somehow the crazy kids got together and it was even at a time in Barrymore’s life when she was sober.

Dennis Rodman & Madonna

Perhaps these two weren’t as mismatched as first thought. They’re both bizarre individuals with far-out personalities and they each like wearing coned bras and dresses while dyeing their hair a million different colours. They also have a knack for starring in movies, despite the fact they’re more famous for other professions (he of basketball and she of enormous sexual appetite).

Jesse James & Sandra Bullock

Why these two were ever together is an unexplainable mystery. The fact HE cheated on HER takes the absurdity level of the relationship to a whole ‘nutha level. When you look at the gremlin he cheated on her with, you’re left absolutely flummoxed (remember, I’m trying to bring this word back to the streets). What a scumbag! Plus, he’s not even related to legendary outlaw, Jesse James, as he’s always claimed.

Bert & Ernie

They’re just roommates… quit bugging them about the whole gay thing. Hell, Ernie’s closer to his rubber ducky than he is to Evil Bert.

Drink #42: Berried Treasure

1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka
0.75 oz Crème de Cacao
0.5 oz Chambord
Top with Lemonade
Garnish with lemon wedge

Some say that Mr. and Mrs. Sip are an odd couple. What with her beauty, success and joie de vive. To those people I say, you’re right… but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
One disappointment with the drink was that the Lemonade mixer wasn’t fizzy, as I had expected it to be. The flavour was still okay, but a little zip would have helped score the cocktail higher.

February 10 – Agave Kiss

Posted on February 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

School of Chocolate

Well, my little sippers, it’s the start of Chocolate Drink Week here at The Sip Advisor and as will become customary with these feature weeks, we shall begin with a little education on the subject. So, take your seats and have your duotangs (do you remember those old things?) at the ready. Class begins… NOW!

The only thing you really need to know about chocolate is that women crave it and will kill for it – seriously, you should see the scars I incurred from Mrs. Sip’s wrath, when I once withheld chocolate from her. It wasn’t even a bar she likes. I was in intensive care for two weeks and now have to wear an eye patch and walk with a noticeable limp. Still, I should have known better… at least that’s what she tells me.

Chocolate, of course, is made from the wonderful cocoa bean, which other purposes absolutely don’t matter. ‘God food’ as the Mayans called it can actually increase serotonin and endorphin levels, thereby acting as an anti-depressant. Chocolate is often referred to as an aphrodisiac, but I theorize that women just behave in ways that will get them more chocolate.

Here are some other random choco-tastic factoids:

For the 1982 film E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, producers wanted the alien to follow a trail of M&M’s into Elliot’s home, but the Mars company found the E.T. puppet to be so unattractive and potentially frightening (he is an ugly mook, after all) that they refused to allow their candy to be part of the movie. Reese’s Pieces were used instead and it turned out to be one of the greatest examples of a missed product placement opportunity in a movie ever.

Speaking of M&M’s, on their touring rider, rock band Van Halen always requested that there be no brown M&M’s in their backstage area. Sounds like a petty request… perhaps even racist, but there is actually sound reasoning behind it. The band wanted to ensure that promoters actually took the time to read their lengthy rider (a type-written 53 pages) and if the organizers couldn’t even pay attention to that detail, then other much more important specifics would be overlooked as well. You know, ones that would actually affect their performance. Hopefully the group always got their demanded tube of KY Jelly, without issue.

My touring rider is pretty epic, too, for those looking to book me for personal appearances: I ask for a vat of jello to bathe in, a jar of the finest snorting caviar and a room full of purring kittens, among other desires.

Finally, the world’s largest chocolate bar was made in the United Kingdom in 2011 and weighed over 12,770 pounds, the size of an African elephant. Shhh, don’t tell Mrs. Sip. She’s been looking to plan our next vacation and has always wanted to do a safari tour. I guess you can do those in the U.K.!

Drink #41: Agave Kiss

1 oz Tequila
0.5 oz Crème de Cacao
0.5 oz Chambord
Top with milk
Garnish with raspberries and white chocolate flakes

What would be on your rider, if you had one? How much chocolate do you think a woman could eat before she finally gave up on the delicious mess? I’m dying to know the answers to these questions!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I thought this drink looked and tasted great. Those White Chocolate Shavings came personally from me… see how hard I work for you little sippers!? I knew Chambord and Crème de Cacao would complement each other, but Tequila did its part to behave and not overshadow the recipe.

February 9 – Burt Reynolds

Posted on February 9, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Moustache Diving

Burt Reynolds – whose birthday is coming up on February 11 – has had quite the eclectic acting career, playing everything from a porn director (Boogie Nights) to an animated dog in a state of limbo (All Dogs Go to Heaven). Gotta say that Charlie B. Barkin is a wicked name for a puppy!

The mustachioed legend has been linked to a number of women throughout his life and can you blame them… the moustache rides alone would keep them coming back for more. Speaking of that ‘stache, there aren’t many guys out there whose push broom could rival his. I’m partial to the Magnum P.I. look, but Burt is a close second in my books.

Looking over his massive list of credits over the years, it’s interesting to note that Reynolds has had some of the greatest character names ever. In an episode of The Twilight Zone, he was Rocky Rhodes. Of course there’s one of his best known roles, The Bandit, in the Smokey and the Bandit franchise. And let’s not forget ‘Man Walking in front of Brewster and Lilah’ in the Kenny Rogers movie Six Pack.

Today we honour Mr. Reynolds, who has been suffering poor health as of late, and we wish him a very happy 77th birthday!

Drink #40: Burt Reynolds

0.75 oz Spiced Rum
0.75 Butterscotch Schnapps
Garnish with a moustache Burt would be proud of

While enjoying this shot, you must hold a finger under your nose to represent a moustache of your own… unless you have a legit caterpillar. That’s the rule. I don’t make them, but this is a rare directive that I’m happy to follow!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I thought it would be funny to garnish the shot with a mustache, but I’m not sure anymore whether that was a good idea. Perhaps if I had used a fuzzy mustache instead of a paper one, that would have worked better. Ah, regrets! The liquid tasted alright, but wasn’t amazing by any means.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

Monthly Archives: February 2013